Thank you for reading Vote With Power blog 99.
Our topic today is teaching your children healthy conflict prevention and resolution.
My name is Denny Bowersox, I have degrees in Sociology, Psychology, Education and a master’s degree in counseling. I have been a high school psychology teacher and counselor. Most of my adult lifetime helping students and later business owners in solve problems. I have authored four published books. Here are my thoughts.
What is conflict?
Conflict can start in many ways and from many sources. It usually has its start from difference in beliefs, values, interests, or goals. It can occur between individuals, groups, organizations, or even counties.
Conflict is not always negative; it can also lead to growth, innovation, and positive change.
Positive change almost always must be guided constructively. Resolving conflicts often involves communication, negotiation, compromise, and sometimes seeking mediation or arbitration. Conflict in this sense is good because it promotes education and understanding.
Understanding the root causes of conflict and addressing them effectively is essential for maintaining healthy relationships.
Conflict usually leads to poor communication and lack of cooperation.
Handling conflict is a learned set of skills. As a parent how good are you at conflict prevention and resolution?
In order to be good at conflict resolution your child needs to use thinking, emotional control, communication, and empathy delivery skills.
Children also must learn emotional control so they can find common ground after analyzing the other persons interest, beliefs, values and goals before attempting to solve conflicts.
What do your children need to know about conflict and conflict resolution?
1. Help your children understand that conflicts are not always negative.
2. Teach your kids how to benefit from using conflicts in a positive way.
3. Teach your children to be sensitive to misunderstandings and
misperceptions from others to deal with them early enough before they
become deep seated conflicts.
4. Talk to your children about being sensitive to conflicts and to analyze them
and decide if they will become problems and need to be prevented.
5. Teach your children how to understand which conflicts can be prevented.
Discuss how to develop approaches and skills to void the conflict during
the incubation period.
6. Teach your child how to get clarity on the real problem not just the
symptoms.
7. Your child, must know how to properly view the conflict, the level of
severity, the others perception, opinion and facts by asking for details from
each other.
8. Skilled conflict handlers start by agreeing on honest open and purposeful
communication.
9. Work with your child on defining and agreeing when it will work to
common dialogue expectations
10. Help your child that both parties be mostly logical and not deeply
emotional during their dialogue. This is not a win or die situation.
11. Tell your children that both people need to agree that a total resolutions
will most likely not happen. Their purpose is understand and some gains.
12. Always maintain an atmosphere of discussion and never get into
argument mode. The purpose in discussing is to educate. The purpose for
arguing is to win.
13. As part of the conflict resolution handling agenda help your child
understand that each party should explain without challenge why this
conflict happened and why It is important to resolve.
14. Each party should explain what the benefits of resolution should be and
the ramification if the conflict is not resolved.
15. Children need to know that during the communication the agenda needs
way to find common ground.
16. Your child needs to know the importance of and how to use an upfront
agreement/contract. Teach them to have commitment from all parties
to keep the dialogue on going. When things get out of hand take a
cooling off break., but don’t allow stoppage.
17. Your kids need to stay sensitive that the conflict discussion isn’t building
other conflicts or a worse level of this conflict.
18. Teach your children the both parties should agree to find common
ground within common sense and the importance of being flexible.
19. Children need to agree that both people need to be willing to avoid
trying to push ideas or their opinions on the other person.
20. Agree that is ok to agree to disagree on some issues. But it is not ok for
either person to get personal or attached the other.
21. Guild your child in learning the skills of being tactful and diplomatic
in conversations. Not only in conflict situation but all correspondence.
22. Teach your child to listen more that they talk.
23. Teach your children to ask meaningful questions.
If you want to see these ideas in writing, please visit our website votewithpower.org and look in the blog section.
As always, I believe that raising a wonderful child is difficult enough, but equally important is helping them grow up in a safe, opportunistic, financially stable, citizen unified culture.
My website votewithpower.org has a podcast and information about transforming our dysfunctional government. Please check it out.
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